How to let go of negative thoughts ? | The Fearless Life
I was thinking back on a heated argument I had with a buddy earlier this week as I drove home. The talk had been bothering me all day. You know, the ones you find yourself replaying over and over again in your head and finding it difficult to get past? I was listening to Taylor Swift on the radio when all of a sudden it dawned on me that the terrible words I had been repeating to myself were keeping me from being there for everyone else in my life for the remainder of the day. It’s a fact of life that we have all been harmed by people or circumstances, even if the suffering is frequently beyond our control.
Do we linger and think about the past? Or do we just absorb what we can before returning to the more fundamental work of just living our lives?
Of course, I prefer the latter, but there are instances where it’s not as simple as it seems. I’ve been reading about resilience since it seems that some people are more resilient than others, and because conflict and hurt are unavoidable, I’m curious to know why. As it happens, the professionals have a lot to say about letting rid of negative beliefs. Continue reading for 12 strategies on how to forgive both yourself and other people and learn to let go. And never forget that Taylor has your back.
Make your decision
Remembering that we do have a choice in letting go is the first step. We may deliberately choose to cease reliving events in our minds, and we can simply tell ourselves to “let it go” whenever we think of an awkward circumstance or someone who has hurt us.
Put it in writing.
I have a hard time letting go of bad ideas when I catch myself thinking about them unless I take out my diary and write about it. I find that writing on paper encourages me to calm down and express my thoughts, and it’s far more effective than typing.
Give up placing blame.
It’s simple to assume the victim’s perspective, but keep in mind that most narratives have two sides. Acknowledge your own responsibility for the issue, as well as that of the other person when necessary. You feel more in control when you consider how you may have handled the circumstance better and how you intend to do so in the future.
Try to stay in the now.
There’s little time or energy to think about past wrongs when you’re totally engrossed in the present. Adopting a joyful and abundant mindset in the moment seems like a more enjoyable approach. I find that spending some time in the mornings praying and meditating helps me be more present and focused throughout the day.
Put the tape down now.
You know how sometimes we find ourselves mentally reliving embarrassing or regrettable incidents from the past? It’s a risky loop that may sap our joy and raise stress levels to the point where they can lead to major health issues. The next time you catch yourself reliving events over and over, make the decision to be kind to yourself just as you would to a loved one. Inhale deeply and visualize the ideas just dissipating.
Scream it out.
Crying may be a calming approach to let go of unhappy sentiments and really help yourself feel better. You have to feel a bad circumstance fully before you can let go of it. Surprisingly, research has demonstrated that tears actually help the body get rid of substances that cause the stress hormone cortisol to rise.
What says neuropsychologist ?
Direct the energy into a constructive endeavor
Use a difficult experience or memory as a springboard to better others. Engage in community service, show affection to a family member in need, or adopt a pet in need of a home. You can always turn a bad event into a springboard for helping others.
Let the endorphins out.
I find that working up a sweat is the best way to lift my spirits. When I run or take a spin class, my thoughts nearly always get clearer and more hopeful due to the endorphin release. I also feel psychologically powerful afterward, which helps me concentrate on the correct things.
List the aspects of the circumstance that you have influence over.
While it may be impossible to influence someone else’s viewpoint, you do have the power to influence your attitude, how much effort you put into settling a dispute, and whether or not you see the circumstance as a chance to gain valuable insight.
Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and consider the circumstances from their point of view. Recall that everyone makes errors and that compassion is the greatest medicine for overcoming hurt or anger.
Project future events.
I sometimes question myself if I’ll care about or even remember the things I’m obsessing over in five years when I picture my life then. In 99 percent of cases, the answer is no. Why waste time worrying about things that seem trivial now when they will look so trivial in the big scheme of things?
Be in the company of positive people
Venting to friends or relatives about our circumstances can be helpful at times, but be careful that it doesn’t become just another opportunity to repeat unfavorable ideas. I frequently discover that I’m happier just by being with individuals I care about. It helps to put things in perspective when I laugh at something totally unrelated to my stress and am reminded of the people who love me.
Turn Your Thoughts Into Something Helpful
It’s easy for negative thinking patterns to take over, but a great (and productive) strategy is to recognize the negative thought pattern and associate it with a project that excites you. Next, make a conscious decision to do this: Spend five minutes each time you catch yourself dwelling on something unfavorable, divert your attention to your fascinating activity. I just completed this, and as a result, a new project is now on track!
Put Gratitude First
Although most people undervalue it, gratitude is necessary for happiness in life. Although life doesn’t get any easier, we get stronger when we learn to see the positive aspects of everything around us and reframe challenges. Make a good list and check it every day. Additionally, be quite specific and concentrate on what you truly want. Over time, a positive and concentrated mind will draw in what it seeks.
Try Meditation and Movement.
As a writing coach, author, and certified yoga instructor (RYT-200), I am aware that it is impossible to get rid of bad thoughts without physically upsetting them. Enter your body in order to exit your mind. Those thought patterns can be disturbed by a short period of focused breathing exercises (sitting meditation for ten to fifteen minutes) or physical activity (yoga classes). Move more in order to let go of your brain. Experience more.
Because this is how we developed to be safe from harm, it is in our nature to become trapped from time to time. However, the brain also continuously adapts to our experiences, forging new neural connections or fortifying those that already exist. We have amazing transformational powers because of that capacity.
Because neurons that fire together connect together, it’s important to focus our attention in the right places. When we worry or criticize ourselves, we’re just running around the track again in hell and wearing down the route a little bit more each time. Hence, avoid adding fuel to the flames when anything enrages you.
Simply take a step back and see how you are feeling. Give it a word or two, such as rattled or hurt, and then focus your tired thoughts on something positive, such as someone who loves you. Additionally, rather than quickly moving on to the next moment if you have a pleasant experience—even if it’s only your cat curled up on your lap—stop and enjoy it. Try it for five, ten, or twenty seconds, and don’t stop your neurons from firing.
According to neuroscientist Sir Charles Scott Sherrington, the mind is continuously woven by the brain like a magical loom. This implies that we can always take action inside ourselves, even in situations where we feel helpless. It’s a remarkable gift from the natural world.
Easy Ways to Quit Thinking Bad Thoughts
According to Coyne, there are “simple steps that folks might practice, helping them detach from that critical voice and build more joy, vitality, and connection in their lives,” even though some people would need to seek professional assistance.
Take a Moment
Take a break if you are experiencing tension, anxiety, or are caught in a negative thought cycle. Use all five of your senses to concentrate your attention on the surroundings.
Take Note of the Change
Observe the distinction between living in a state of cognitive paralysis and living in the present moment fully utilizing all five senses. Take note of your mental activities as well.
Did you have an argument with yourself? Having trouble refuting unfavorable or critical opinions of yourself? Are you making an effort to force unpleasant ideas or pictures from your mind?
Consider if you are benefiting from this mental battle.
Put Labels on Your Thoughts
If not, try taking a step back and labeling your ideas as such rather than as absolute facts. You may, for instance, work on slowing down your thinking process and adding the stem “I am having the thought that.”
Keep naming whatever ideas you seem to be thinking without trying to soften, alter, or ignore them. Try to observe what it feels like to put some space between you, the thinker, and your ideas.
Decide on Your Goal
You are more equipped to CHOOSE your intention and the next appropriate step for you once you have PAUSED from your mental conflict, NOTICED what’s occurring and how it’s been operating, and LABELED your ideas for what they are—simple, transitory mental weather.
Will you still have trouble controlling your thoughts? Alternatively, you may decide to make a modest progress toward a goal that is important to you.